From This Day Forward
By: Jerry
L. McFadyen
.... Should I do this? This will affect every single day of my life from this day on, am I sure this is what I want to do? Yes! It is. I’m sure of it....
.... I, Jerry take thee, Teresa to be my wedded wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish,
‘til death
do us part, according to God's holy ordinance;
From this
day forward....
‘til death do us part.
I had no idea back in April of ’86 that “this day forward
meant from this day ‘til July 2002.
I had no
Idea, of a lot of things. As all these things rolled around and around in my
mind on that April day I just knew that “to be my wedded wife” meant forever
not just 16 short years. I just knew that “ from this day forward” meant from
now to eternity. At twenty four years old, this day forward means forever. I
just knew that “ for better, for worse” meant through all the good days because
there would no bad days. I just knew that “for richer, for poorer” meant for
richer because if we were together we were rich. I just knew that “in sickness
or in health” meant in health and maybe to help her as she overcame a cold or
something. And then there was “to love and to cherish, ‘til death do us part”,
well that just meant that we would hold each other in our arms ‘till the end of
time itself.
So what happened? Where did I go wrong? All these things
rolled around in my head for days before I said “I DO!” so why didn’t I see any
of this coming? And if I had seen it what would it have changed? Or would it
have changed anything at all? All that I know now is that we said “From this
day forward....” and my days still go forward, just much slower than they used
to. So what now? My days go on but Teresa left me here all alone. Every single
moment of my life, sleeping and waking is filled to overflowing with
loneliness. The most incredible, overwhelming loneliness imaginable and even
more. The only thing that keeps me going is that I can truly feel the hand of
God holding my heart together. He gives me peace, a sound mind and even moments
of joy. But then it hits me again like a freight train... From this day
forward.... From this day forward....
From this day forward....
...‘til death do us part.
“To have and to hold from this day forward”, that is what she
said. To have and to
hold....
from this
day forward. Why did she lie to me? why? I don’t have
her any more... I can’t hold her any more. Why? To have and to hold...
I look at her chair and she’s not there... I
pick up the phone... I go for a drive... I go to bed at night, not there.... I
walk into the kitchen... I smell the aroma of food from the oven.... not there.
To have and to hold... From
this day forward...
It’s been a
hard day at work as I walk in the house for a reassuring hug... I’m hurting so bad....
my heart
is broken , crushed lifeless.... not there, no hug no one to hold. To have and to hold... From this day forward...
So now
what? She left me all alone in a world full of people. She said “From this day
forward.”
My days go
on..... From this day forward...
To have and to
hold... From this day
forward...
“It’s too
early to move” on they say. “Wait a year or two.” “Don’t rush.”
But it was
too early for her to leave me too, my life goes on... I still live ... my heart
still beats, I feel every single beat of it. From this day forward... From this day forward...
Where is
she now... From this day
forward...
I want to
ask her why? From this day
forward...
I need to
feel her.
From this day forward...
I’m not
even sure any more just who died. Was it she who died or was it I ?
From this day forward...
To have and to
hold... From this
day forward...
From this
day forward....
...‘til death do us part.
.... I, Jerry take thee, Teresa to be my wedded wife,
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer,
in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish,
‘til death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance;
From this
day forward....